The Johnnys' Quest
Owner Tastier
Race Wood Elves
Debut Season Season II
Last Season Season IV
Team Motto Soft and Succulent
Team Colours Green and Gray

The Johnnys' Quest, introduced in Season II, unintentionally continued the Wood Elf Dynasty began by The Trees in Season I. Ignoring all sound advice, the Johnnys spend  all of their startup money on expensive positional for an already expensive team: A treeman, two Wardancers, a Thrower, and three catchers, and four lineman. “No rerolls, apothecary or fan factor, dropped in favour of the best Wood Elf players money can buy. I tried looking that up on the risk/reward chart but it didn't extrapolate that far.” - Steilos. The Quest's rookie season saw them start strong, but ended in an 'epic collapse'. The season included a notorius loss vs Tinwe United where the Quest had every advantage, even the services of Khemri Tomb Guardian, Ned the Annilhilator. It was a match for which Tinwe's Coach Oh My God wrote a convincing match preveiw describing at length all the reasons he would lose against the Quest. Ultimately Season II ended with a string a losses and draws that left the Quest just below the threshold for the playoffs. The only redeeming factor was bringing home the Crud! Cup for a leg up in Season III.

In Season III the Johnny's dominated the league with a 10-3-0 record in the regular season and a 4-0-0 division record. One of the losses was to The Mistakes of Life who, with the aid of werewolf Amateratsu, were unstoppable early in the season. The second was an aberrant loss to orphaned rookie lizardmen of the Nox'tlan Narcissists. The third came at the end of the season when coach Tastier benched the squad against Triple-S and their ringer, Kowen. In the post-season, The Johnnys' Quest stumbled in the first round of the playoffs against The Fancy Lads. This is thought to have been due in large part to the death of veteran thrower Dijon 'Crazy' Bone during a match against Hellbug's Heroes late in the regular season. The offense headed by newly hired Jon T. Partí didn't have a chance to hit it's offensive stride before the playoffs.

The Johnnys' we're off to a rocky start at the beginning of Season IV, but by week V they had hit their stride once again. Jon T. Partí hooked up rookie catcher Lady 'Cookie' Fingers again and again, and the swarming defense was proving effective. They ended the Season with a more modest 7-4-1 record, but going into the playoffs they were hot. They had a +11 touchdown differential, the best in the league. Ultimately they folded in overtime to the dwarves of Crooked Peak who brought down a crucial interception in the first half that pushed the match into overtime. The game shifted towards a war of attrition and the rest, as they say is history.

Tastier announced that he would be moving on from the The Johnnys' Quest in Season V. Will the Quest find a new manager or will they fade quietly into obscurity?


Name Position Tenure
Aang 'Glow' Saxon Line-Elf Season II
Celanfel Béchamel Line-Elf Season III
Ferris 'The Facade' Yohanan (dead) Line-Elf Season III
J. Doe Line-Elf Season II
Jean Lebaptiste Line-Elf Seasons III - IV
John 'Go-Juice' Derriere Line-Elf Seasons III - IV
John 'Five-Score and Seventeen' No-Name (dead) Line-Elf Season II
John 'the Carpenter' Wood Line-Elf Season II
M. T. Stomach Line-Elf Seasons II - IV
Matthieu 'The Island' Sinneslöschen Line-Elf Season IV
Other John Green (dead) Line-Elf Season II
Sauvignon 'The Conduit' Blanc Line-Elf Seasons III - IV
Sir Johan Ticonderoga Line-Elf Seasons II - IV
Bald John Green Catcher Season II
Benediction Johnson Catcher Season II
Fry 'John' Cook Catcher Seasons II - IV
'Itchy' Feet Catcher Seasons II - III
Lady 'Cookie' Fingers Catcher Season IV
Action Johnny (dead) Thrower Season II
Dijon 'Crazy' Bone (dead) Thrower Seasons II - III
Jon T. Partí Thrower Seasons III - IV
Linden B. Johnston Thrower Season IV
Espiral Ward Wardancer Season IV
Johnny 5-Shots Wardancer Season II
Johnny 'Flamenco' Walker Wardancer Season II
Jumpy 'the Fast' Longears Wardancer Seasons III - IV
Bloomberg Treewoman Seasons III - IV
John Green Treeman Season II